KIJANA WA HOVYOO; when I got a kick for kiss.😂👇

There was this *early stage* in my teenage years. During this time everything inside you seems to be “heating up”, all of sudden you have this attraction to the other *gender*,Muscle growth, hair and blah blah….

I remember somehow girls stopped being my enemies , instead of just teasing them I was now doing all these stupid things to grab *their* attention.

The "heating up" was happening as i was finishing up my Ordinary level commonly known as "form 4 leaver".

During this period many things were happening with my body, but what disturbed me most were the pimples(vipele) on my face, stuff were everywhere. They kept popping up like crazy.😅

Fast forward to holidays. Schools had just been closed. This was like 3 weeks into the holidays you know that feeling of a free man 4 years of suffering sio mchezo,ukikesha na madesa ya pythagoras theorem.

Then one day this girl named "Aisha" *moved to our* neighborhood. She was also was also in her holidays, except that she was still in form 3. We were roughly the same age, only that she was a bit taller.

We became friends very fast, this was not normal for me. Friends with a girl!! Boys don’t play with girls that was the rule and yet there I was playing hide and seek with Aisha at there house.Things were happening very fast guess she was also feeling the heat "mambo ya gravity hapo kati"😂.

Soon we were everywhere, “michezo ya baba na mama 😂😂😂

I think our parents must have realised that things were soon going to get out of hand, so the need to bring in some measures.

I remember Aisha’s mother visiting us and having a heated conversation with my mother. Later on in the evening after a heated conversation I over heard "mama patty" say something to mzee.."balehe ya mwanao isije ikatuletea balaa".😂😂

All of sudden Aisha’s mother started to give me those “kijicho” looks.You know that saying " akufukuzae hakwambi toka" the way she looked at me spoke volumes like, "heyyyyyyyyyy stay away from my girloooo, you pimpled young boy."😂😂

From those “mijicho” I had to keep distance from Aisha’s house. Mtu asijie ukatupiwa jiini bure, well she sounded like Zanzibari what do you expect me to think 😂😂.

Before I could come to terms with loosing Aisha came another blow the next day, this was after my mother called me out early in the morning like “fanya ufue ufue nguo zako jumatatu una safari” ….. sitaki balaa mini🤔😎😂

Where am I going? I asked her. “Mimi siendi tena kwa kina Aisha”.She did not even bother to answer back.

What actually happened was that she booked me up for this “Crusade brothers” thing back at church. So few brothers had come up with a group to help spread the good word you “uinjilisti” You know those vijana walio okoka na wanampenda Yesu stuff" 😂😂.

So there I was from playing “baba and mama" with Aisha now am about about to start spreading the word of gospel ”. Well I had no other option, how do you start saying no, to Serving the lord leave alone a typical African mother. Maybe it was my calling like David Livingstone looking for the source of the nile.

About the Brothers, they were actually kinda cool individuals, only that they were so old school. Imagine the guys did the same hair style, like those 1980s afros kwa mbaali. They were always talking gospel, carrying guitars all over the place, skinny jeans were considered a sin to them.So you can imagine.

So there I was. One skinny young man with pimples all over my face. About to go on a crusade to spread the gospel, I imagined my life like in that Jesus movie..wazee wa Nazaretiii.

Anyways looking back I understand what my mother was trying to do. Try as hard as possible to Keep me far away from Aisha, "la sivyo kigewaka"😅

The Village church

5 days down the line everything was going as planned, we were busy busy spreading the gospel.personally, I felt like one this disciples filled with the Lord’s grace.

To my surprise Aisha was long gone in my mind, only that stuff was still burning inside, ukiongezea na lile baridi things were kind of getting out of hand..you know.😎

Comes the village girl(cheupe)😂

So the local church members,had organized a way to take care of us, especially when it came to food.
For starters they were cooking porridge for us, at least every morning.

Sasa bana, among the village girls serving us the poridge ,I think i saw one of them smile at me( remember at this time am burning up inside , so am not really sure if my emotions are in control”).

Then 2 weeks down the line I see her again smiling at me. This time the smile is biggger, and lasted longer. It was like she was trying hard for me to see it.🤔🤔🤔.

Then my mind starts blowing up with all these ideas.... I remember thinking "si watoto wa Mungu hawa, sasa anamaanisha nini na ile smile"😅😂.

Anyways I went back to camp and told one of the guys," nahisi yule mtoto mrefu mrefu cheupe ananikubali maana daily ananichekea" Dude just laughed me off.
He’s like "tufanye kazi ya Mungu, kumbuka ndo kilicho tuleta." 🙏

So a days goes by and am like "maybe it’s just the heat getting to my mind let just concentrate on the gospel.

Then came this one morning as we being served porridge, there she was in front of me u know like how it happens in the movies..taraa taraa taraaa.

It did not last long but she ended saying something like "Mambo".........,.. my eyes blew out👀👀.

Ehhhh did I hear that right? Mtoto kumbe sio wakuja kivile 😂. To me that was it, it was the green light, to confirm every I was thinking..from the look of things she officially becomes my girlfriend 😂😂.

NOW OR NEVER

Mambo yalikua magumu, the “viallge girlfriend" was nowhere to be seen, and during period our time in the village was coming to an end and I knew its either I come up with a plan or "ntatoka kapa tena kama kwa aisha.😂"

The Master plan👇

On the last day of us being there, we were to have a farewell event like bye bye party.

So from the look of things this would be the perfect time to make my move.

🤔The plan was simple, during the party, I would find a way to pull her aside, maybe to some nearby place under a tree, with the help of cover of darkness maybe atleast i could get a “kiss”....u know like in the movies😂. Titanic’s Jack and Rose kinda things.

Day went really fast all of sudden it’s 5;pm so farewell event was building up.

So around 7pm kwneye ki giza giza hivi there entered my “girlfriend cheupe kama cheupe”I think she had put on some make up so which made things more interesting.

I glared upon her, she glared eye met. My mind goes booooom, this it Patrick. All of a sudden I started sweating, why? I can not really tell.

As for the village girlfriend , when I smiled at her, she did not smile back as usual. I did not give a damn about the lack of a smile, only that at this point, what mattered to me was getting the message to her.

“Like heyy baadaye hivi chiini ya mti pale...kwneye ki giza flaani hivi 😂😂😂.
At this time gospel lishatupwa kule i think eve the holy spirit was in surprise.😂🙏

Meanwhile as am “fishing” for my cheupe, the other guys, are busy praising the lord, Hallelujah and Amens were all over the place.😂

So time for food came ehh, you know that saying "when you want something badly the universe will come to your help😎. Well this happened, out of nowhere the girl came towards me and handed me a plate filled with rice and lots of meat.🤗🤗
To me this was another sign ,i was like "patty"the girl likes you. Ushindwe wewe sasa.
So before she could leave, I told her " ill be waiting for you, under the mango tree, down the road be there. she noded the head..like a" yess a sign.😎😎😎

5 minutes later am already done. "Guys are like ulikua na ubao nini…in my mind am like if they only knew.

At this point my eyes are everywhere 👀👀, heart starts pumping fast, am not seeing the "village girlfriend", I ask myself " au asha tangulia? Au ndo ashanitosa?

I rush down the place🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️ remember this is around 9:pm and being in he village its pretty dark. Though the moonlight was making everything perfect.

So as am running towards the supposed "ring" I imagine Romeo &Julliet stuff like yeah this is me on the streets of Venice…😂😂runing toward the love of my life.

On other hand I hear "Mama Patty’s voice “ Jesus is watching you "patty", u came to spread the gospel now where are you running to”

Waapi I just muted “mama patty voice” guess nothing could stop me, not even Lucifer.😂😂.

So I get there but, but the girl is nowhere to be seen. 👀👀where could she be sasa? Thank God, I see her come from a distance.. at this point my heart is pumping fast "puff puff, puff, hands are sweating heavilly.

I waste not time, remember we are late. I get close to her, thanks to the moonlight everything feels perfect. The shade under the tree would make you think it’s Jack and Rose in the Titanic, except this time tupo in Africa, somewhere land of Kilimanjaro,tena ndani ndani huko".

So its now or never Patrick !, I get closer to try and kiss her, Time to put into action everything I have seen in the movies😅.

KICK FOR KISS,

Don’t know how to tell you this, but Hell got loose. It’s sad and funny when I look back, anyway that kiss I dreamed of sijui Romeo and Juliet stuff…things did not go as planned.

The Kiss turned into a Punch, the "village girl" punched, like really bad to make matters worse she finished it up with a kick.

At least “ageningata” tuseme it was a love bite, but my Cheupe decided to punch and kick me in the teeth.

Up to today I ask myself where she could have learnt to kick like that.

Kick was heavy my friend I think she also hit my stomach aisee , this kind of left me half dead. Remember the moon seemed to be shining upside down😂. Hapo nikiwa nasikilizia shingo langu from the punch.😂.

5 mins later still I do not know what was going on. Where I am?Whats happening? Where is my Cheupe?

There I was lying on my back, in shitty grass surrounded by vikelele vya panzi not sea waves "kruu kruu every where.😅

Still looking back I think I fell to the ground kinyuma kinyuma, anyway just know village girls can kick.

After the kick she also mentioned something like "YAANI KUKUCHEKEA TU UNALETA USHENZI …….MUUONE na VIPELE VYAKE "🤔🤔😂😂 😂😂

Please D

Do not ask me how i got back to the party.

Back in Dar

Back home I was asking myself
What did I get wrong?
Did she really like me?
If not, then why those smiles?

Or was she just playing hard to get?

🤗Thank you for your time.

😎feel fee to leave a comment.